Mark

I'm Mark, 16 and im gay. I live in probably one of the most homophobic cities in England, and life was hard for several years. I remember being around 10 and having a crush on a certain boy in my class, but ignoring it and thinking all boys were feeling the same. It was only when i went into year 7 that I started to noticed it more, mainly because i went to an all boys school. I was in form class for half an hour every day with boys a lot older than me, some 16 years old. They would say things to make like queer fag etc, all the typical ones.

    I didn't really know what it meant at this point, but i thought it was bad because everyone around me was so negative towards it. I remember one time, i was 13, and i kinda fancied my cousins boyfriend, and tried my best to avoid any kind of sexual fantasy about him. It was when i was 13 that i really tried not to be gay, and to just be what everyone else considered normal. This, of course didnt work. I tried everything any one in my situation would, lesbian porn, magazines, forcing myself to like girls. But nothing changed. It was only when i was around 14 that i accepted it. It was in the shower, I just started crying one day and saying to myself 'I'm gay'. I had finally came out to myself.
  In school I hung around with the typical gays, the ones who accepted me and were my best friends and supported me. One day one of my friends came out to me and told me he was bi, over msn, which in my view is one of the best ways to come out. It was about february 2008, and it was the day i realised that my friends were my world, and I could pretty much rely on them for anything, and they could rely on me. I wasnt out at this point, but after he'd told all of us he was bi, and everyone was absolutely fine with it, another friends also came out was bi. So after about a week of thinking it over, i was on msn one night (around 2am) and decided i was gunna do it.

  I told the person i considered to be my closest friend at that point, i told him that i wasnt straight, and that i wanted to tell him in person, but he refused to leave msn until i told him. So i just said it to him 'Im gay' and it was absolutely fine, then he told another of my friends, minutes later, and he popped up to me also, saying how fine he was with it. Then eventually all my friends found out, it was fine, i was too happy. Coming out to my friends was probably one of the best experiences of my life. I could be me, and they would know the reason.

  Up to now i havn't came out to my family, and dont intend to because they are all narrow minded homophobes, although they all assume i am, my parents have always avoided the topic. My plan is to move away to university and see as little of them as possible.
So thats basically my story, if you think you want to come out, come out to your close friends first, they will be there for you if they are true friends. :]

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Alex

im 16 and i came out to one of my good friends 3 days ago. i had no intention of coming out to anyone ever, i just didnt want to deal with what would happen if i did. so me and my friend were just hanging out and talking and somehow it got to the point were i admited i liked someone. she went crazy because thats the first time i had ever admitted to her that i liked someone. she then started to interigate me trying to figure out who it was. i told her that i wasnt going to tell her because that would mean i would have to tell her im a lesbian. then she said that shed tell me who she liked if i told her who i liked but i declined because i was scared of what she would think if i told her i liked girls and not guys. but she kept egging me on to tell her so i finally did and it was the scariest thing i have ever done in my whole life. right when i told her that i didnt like guys i told her not to freak out. she said she wasnt freaked out but i didnt believe her because their was no way she could be that ok with me being gay. she said that she wasnt freaked out at all and she thought it was cool and she genuinely did. she also said she was so freakin happy i told her and thought it was so awesome. she was so ok with it and it didnt change our friendship at all it made us alot stronger im very glad i told her because now i have someone to talk to about all my girl troubles. telling her also made me accept myself more and i actually want to tell more of my friends now.

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Meaghan

My name is meaghan, Im 13 and im bi. I havent came out yet, mostly because im afraid to tell my dad. He has always thought it was weird to be gay,lesbian,or bi. I did to along time ago. I never would have thought i would be bi. But i am. I have dated guys and they are still sexually apealing to me, but so are girls.  And then one night i was at my best friends house for a sleepover all the other girls slept in her living room and we slept in her bed (which was realy small). She asked if i wanted to experiment with her and I said sure. We touched each other and started kissing. It just felt like it was right. Neither mine or her parents know that we are bi. we still go to each others houses and make out when we are sure no one is gonna walk into our rooms. Im still afraid to tell my family cause i know they wont think im serious at first and when they know im serious i know they will still love me but my dad would be shocked and dissapointed. I guess what im trying to say is if your scared, talk to the person you think will understand the most ( some adult who is straight). Even if you think your parents might be dissapointed you should do what makes you happy. Live your life the way you want to.

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Alex

Frankly speaking, life is not an easy stream for individuals having a different sexual orientation. I have experienced the inconveniences, the rejection and the atrocities of the so-called straight guys who always like to show their superiority and arrogance over the weak ones. Actually these guys think that they are well accepted in the society and are not among the minorities, so they can do whatever they want without being judged or criticized for their wrong actions.

I was 12 years old when i was admitted for the first time in a private secondary boys college. That day i felt lonely, as i usually frequented girls in a mixed primary school. Everything went on smoothly the first day, until i met Pedro who discovered my girlish behavior and shared it with other classmates. From that day all the students of my class started treating me as a "Pufter" and named me " Maggy". Fortunately i had two friends, in the same class who were gay and supported me emotionally, but they were even being mentally and physically tortured by the naughty college boys. Slowly the rumors came out from one class to another. They used to throw bottles caps on us, treat us as aliens and told the teachers about our homosexuality. I admit it was not that easy to bear their attitudes towards us. Nevetheless, i mustered courage, managed and stuggled to pass my exams and eventually got out from that troublesome adolescence world to a professional one, where i met a guy whose name is Santiago.

He appreciated me, for what i am and give me lots of love and affection. It was not an easy adventure, but with patience and courage, we certainly achieve higher grounds. My message to all the gays, is that one must not discourage and bother about what others think about you, but, one must live his life freely without fearing about the others. Certainly your future will be brighter and maybe lots of opportunities and possibilities will come out. "We are not born gays, but it's the society who treat us as gays". We have our rights like any human being and we have to fight.

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Rod

Hi, Im Rod, I'm 15 and I'm gay... Nobody knows this, not even my closest friends or my sis.(i think my sis haves a clue!)

My parents are pretty conservative so I'm soooo scared to tell them. The other day i was talking to my girl BFF about what we think about gay marriage and stuff and se said that it was normal,that if people was happy, she was happy. My two boys BFF said that they hated gay people because that's not normal. So i was thinking what would happen if i came out!!!

I don't cry, i never cry. I just get mad about every stupid thing! I know it has something to do with me lying to everyone... Sometimes i even lie to myself, and that it's what really upsets me! I need some help, i don't know what to do!

Im soo scared of what my parents, friends, everyone think about it! I know that the important thing is to be sincere to myself but if i tell them i don't know how they'll react!

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Niol

Hi, I just want to share a story or maybe a lesson to those who are gay and shamed of being one or maybe just too scared in accepting who they are. I am not gay but I don't discriminate gays or lesbians. I am also catholic but totally disagree about the church's view about gays and lesbians.

As a child I was exposed on two sides of the gay environment; the good gay and the bad gay or let me say the good human being and the bad human being. My Uncles from my mother side and father side were gays. One was very expressive and polite at the same time, he also have a partner during his college years. I love Uncle Vince he even told his friends and partner to respect me as his nephew. At the same situation I also have an Uncle from my father side Fredo, who is the opposite of Uncle Vince and unfortunately the bastard molested me. He should be thrown to jail for what he did but he finaly paid for what he did and pass away with a heart attack.

Fast forward my story to our present time 2009, last March during a generator maintenance for my company's server farm. A ask a gentleman who is around his 30's, well built and very neat, I ask him about the equal yellow sign symbol with the blue background and he was somewhat surprised, scared and paused before he answered. His response was "O, nothing really, that's just an equality symbol." I did not ask him further about what kind of equaity it is, for he turned his back on me.

Today I just realized that this is a gay and lesbian equality symbol. This is sad, even if he knows someone who is gay or even if he is gay, I totally believe that he should be proud of who he is. It also touched me and almost made me cry to realize that gays and lesbian will never win this battle if those who support or actual gays or lesbians are not proud of who they are. If a gay is being beat up or being harassed then I will jump in the defend him/her even if it means my life. For those of you who are still ashamed of who you are, do not allow me to waste mylife and rescue you if you face the shame of accepting who you are.   

It is through gays that I can smile or laugh my heart out, yes, I am a straight individual and married to my wife but it doesn't mean that I don't support gays and lesbian. Keep up the fight and be proud of who you are!!!!

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I am me.

Experiencing life like anyone else as I grew up, I saw movies, read books, and heard stories about love. The typical, Boy meets girl, falls in love at first sight, grow up together, and marry, have kids, then die together all made sense to everone else. But not me. Even at a young age I could never picture myself with a girl. Nonetheless fall in love with one. I just came to a conclusion in my head that I was young and was uneducated in the subject. When I was 14 years old, I realized that yes, in fact, I was attracted to boys. But ashamed of myself, I made sure that every move i made, every step i took, every comment i made, facial expression, head nod.. everything, looked masculant and confident. Many nights of crying myself to sleep thinking out the scenario of telling my parents of my choices and them disaproving finally took its toll. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to be accepted for who I was because I felt fake. It was ruining me. So finally at age 17, I did what I thought was impossible: I told my family and friends that I was gay. I'd like to say that it turned out like a movie where all the scary situations of coming clean that i'd played out in my head were false and everything went great. But i' be lying. I won't go into detail, but it was the disaproval of my dad that anchored down my confidence and self approval. That was the past. Now, I am 20 years old and enjoying life to the fullest. My dad and I are better than ever. And everyone accepts me for who I am. And that means everything to me! It really does. But. I learned something important: You cannot, CANNOT live life being happy without accepting yourself first. I learned that first hand. I accept myself for who I am. I am gay. I am different. I am happy. But most importantly: I am me.

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Confidence

Coming out is all about having confidence in yourself. There will be people who hate you because you have discovered who you truly are but know that you have the confidence to finally stop pretending.
 
Some people will love you for who you are, these people have confidence. They know who they are and you know who you are.
 
Confidence is key for without it how can you be sure of who you are.

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Elle

hi I'm Elle, I'm 14 and I'm a bisexual.  I realized that I was bisexual a few weeks ago while at summer camp. I developed a crush on this absolutely gorgeous girl. (The first things i noticed were her combat boots and black/copper hair.) I never actually talked to her but we had mutual friends, so i knew her name and what class she was taking (i have a feeling that she doesn't know i exist however) Still at camp, i came out to my sister and my best friend through a text message asking if thinking a girl was hot made me bi. The gave me pretty vague answers. My friend asked me if i thought i was and later said that it wouldn't make a difference between us. After camp finished I asked my friend richard his stance of LGBT and then told him i was bi and he was pretty cool with it. Later i tried to tell 3 of my other friends and choked. When i finally got up my courage, they had fallen asleep. i eventually told one of the girls when she woke up and she was also understanding, though she told me it  was "probably just a phase." Today, i told another one of my friends who said she kind of "knew" saying that she guessed from some of the things i said and my behavior (i don't know what THATS supposed to me.) I haven't actually experimented with any girls so my friends and i decided i wouldn't come out to any more people until im sure that i am in fact bi. I live in a pretty liberal, LGBT- friendly community and my parents have many gay friends. Although im pretty sure i will have their support, I'm still worried about telling them. And maybe it will get easier but each time i've told one of my friends that im bi, i get a sinking feeling until they reply positively. Just want to say good luck for anyone whose struggling with this kind of thing.

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John

Hello my name is john i am 18,my entire life i have been surpressing these feeling of my homosexuality, since i was a kid i have been attracted to other guys. but like most poeple i have alot of trouble accepting it. i looked at being gay as a horrible thing. i grew up catholic, i still am catholic to a degree, i came from a good family, and i just wanted a normal life. i have dated girls, and i really like girls, but my body does not feel the same and i've known this since middle school. i do not want to be labled gay, because people treat you like a vegetarian (im not saying its a bad thing). you have to keep telling people that you do not eat meat, but they keep offering it,  its just the norm to put meat on everything and you have to say otherwise. this is the main factor to the problem to comming out to my freinds and family.

i know i should feel proud about who i am, but i dont want people to just see me as gay, i want them to see me as another human. but i feel if i do not come out, ill just be hiding a part of me, and ill never fully inderstand who i am. so today is the day i decided, and I told the person whom i am closest with. she was a little taken by surprise but took it well and suports me. life is far too short to be hiding away and putting on acts so others will accept you. hopefully i can get more courage and find better ways to express this feeling to others i love.

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Bi..

My name is not that important. I am 16 years old, and I am Bi. I never really knew it until about two or three years ago. Before then i really didn't understand myself all that well. I just thought everyone had similar admirations for both men and women. To this day I still haven't completely come out. I've told a few of my closest friends, and my sister found out accidentally, and luckily she hasn't told my parents.

My family are strong Christians, and believe that people who are gay or lesbian do not deserve to go to heaven. So thus I have not told them anything. I know this is not a great thing, but I do believe that my parents are partially responsible for my sexuality. See, my parents weren't the youngest on the block when they had me and my sis, so they never had the exuberance to take me out and do many things, including those very important father son things. So ultimately, I was born and raised around my mom, and my sis (who unfortunately liked to dress my up like those little girl dolls, and play house with me).

In school, I was always the kid in the corner watching everyone else play. Until, that is, when I met my best friends. Most of them were girls, and a few were boys. I never really understood love, and I never thought about girls or boys that way. Girls were my friends, and I never understood other men.

It wasn't until sixth grade when I began to like boys and girls, and I began like both sexes at the same time. As I said, i liked girls cause they were friendly, and i liked guys, cause i didn't know them. It wasn't until eighth grade though that I began exploring men online. I was curious and that was that. Throughout that year and my freshman year of high school I just explored into the possibility. I never really found love until my sophomore year.

There was this boy in my locker hallway that I absolutely despised. He was rude, harsh, and had a very small ego. But he was the very opposite of me physically, which ultimately drew my attention. Anyway, it wasn't until my second trimester of that year that I had to deal with him. I had two gym classes with him, and i still hated him. Also we were always put together or close together when we were teamed up.

Now, I'm not the most athletic person in the world, and he was. So, i was always pushed hard to succeed, and that made him hate me. It wasn't until my third trimester that he realized my potential in aquatics (he's a swimmer on the swim-team.), and i had a feeling something was different about him.

I had not realized i loved him until a month or two before school ended, and i think he loved me too, but i didn't have the courage to confront him. Anyway, Aquatics was our time it seemed. We'd get in the pool and we'd flirt. Well, he started flirting with me and i wouldn't flirt back until it was a definite flirting move.

One or two weeks before school ended, the flirting became evident to everyone it seemed. We'd get to dive into the well, and I loved it. Well, every time it seemed, we'd dive in together, and so i would, but also, he would too. While down at the bottom of the well, he'd wrap his arms around me and pretend to "save" me (he was lifeguard certified). I couldn't help but smile when he'd grab me.

Sadly, school ended and i've never seen him since. A part of me though, still loves him, and wishes he was here with me, and hopes he loves me too. But anyway, that's my story, and all i have to say in conclusion to others dealing with these issues, is that it's not your fault. You did not choose this for yourself, and ultimately it doesn't mean you wont go to heaven. There are no set rules you must follow, there are only suggestions. Thank you for reading

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Hannah

Hi Im Hannah, I Just turned 16, and I am not sure if I am bi or lesbian I still have to figure it all out.
For a long time I went to a really small school where I constantly felt like it was almost expected to at least have a crush on a guy. In first and second grade I convinced myself that I had a crush on this one guy but then he moved to like Texas or something and I never really figured out if I really liked him. For the rest of elementary school I didnt think about guys or girls very much I was very quiet and was generally considered the bookworm.

In middle school I was still at the same school but a new girl arrived who was all about the drama and I am pretty sure she dated every guy in our very small class. We only had maybe 50 people in our grade. In seventh grade all my friends had crushes and I had a crush as well. I am very petite and I was fell for a guy who was very good looking and close to my height, I felt like we could be a perfect match. My friend paired us up and we dated for all of a week in which time we barely said a word to each other. We broke up after one date where we went to a very bad movie accompanied by his little brother and friend who really annoyed me.  I still dont really count that as dating.

Once I reached high school I got a crush on another very hot guy who was a bit taller than me. Unfortunately I knew at least one other girl who had a crush on him as well, and being the timid type that I am I stepped back not wanting to get involved in any drama. Funny enough the other girl was too scared to do anything about her crush and now the guy is dating a completely different girl.
I think throughout all this time I appreciated girls much more than guys and have payed a ton more attention to girls than guys. I think that in the back of my mind I have always been at least leaning towards being lesbian my whole life. In this past year I have become more open with myself and have realized that I like girls more than guys.

Only a few days ago did I actually say openly to myself ‚Hannah you are at the very least bi sexual. This fact shocked me a little anyways but since that day, even though I am still nervous about my decision, I feel like I am totally on the right track and am glad that I am at least open with myself.
I dont know when I will tell my parents or friends but I have already told my brother. Recently we have become much closer and tell each other lots of things, when I told him that I thought I was lesbian he was like really? but in a really calm way so I responded in my amazing way of using words yeah and that was pretty much it he was completely cool with it and agreed not to tell anyone he would let me have the honors.

I guess what I am trying to say in this synopsis of my life is that it doesnt have to matter what others think of you dont force yourself to be someone you are not it wont make you happy. First be open with yourself, then find someone who you can totally trust to let you take things at your own speed, I feel that if you tell one person first then everyone else can wait to know until you are really ready to let them know because when you do tell your friends and family you will know that at least one person has got your back. I believe in the saying live life to the fullest but life cant be lived if you are keeping yourself from yourself. I hope I have helped someone out in some way.

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Allie

Hi, I'm Allie. I am 15 and going into 10th grade. In the past year I have had questions about my sexuality. My uncle is gay, so I am fine with being gay, I have just never pictured myself as being a lesbian. My family (my mom's family) is not at all prejudice to gay marriage or anything like that so i am confident that if i am gay i should not worry. I started questioning my sexuality because i started to realize that i like guys, just not their package. Like everything about guys invites me in and intrigues me in a good way. But if i think about it i get really grossed out about their differences.

For girls, nothing creeps me out, i am interested in the whole thing. I just don't know what i am. I havent experimented with either sex as of yet but i am really wondering if sooner is better, i want to be able to figure this out so i know how to be satisfied and happy. I told my friend Kirs because she said something about thinking she was Bi aswell. I accidently told my friend Bailey because she was trying her lying skills so i got this text like "o btw i wana get snake bites and dreds for next year. o n fyi i think im bi." and of course i am totally relieved about that and blurt out "o yeah! me too!" then shes like "oooo i was kidding..." can you say sh*t!!! lol so anyway i finally talked to one of my uncles good friends, we have gotten closer since then. But he said you seem intrested in guys but i get how your confused. so anyway i talked to my uncles mom and my mom too. They were both supportive.

The hardest thing about this is that i am not sure how my dads family will react if i am. I dont know why i wanted to share this. I do know in this short paragraph all that i said came with many months and lots of guts, tears, headaches, and stress. If i had known that other girls go through this and seen the stories on this sight earlier i would have felt better. So maybe my tiny tale will help anouther girl who is just stuck. I love who i am, even if right now i dont know who that is.

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Melissa

My name is Melissa, im 17 and had that stored in the back of my mind feeling since i was very young that i was attracted to girls. Ive not yet accepted to come out to anyone, expecially family. I dont really know what they would do but i would rather not find out now.

I thought that since your rasied to think i have to be with a guy thats how it has to be, but i am attracted to both men and women. I find myself wanting to be more with a guy though.
I am joining the army when i graduate this year, so maybe that will help and ill find someone who has gone through this there or is going through accepting it.

Im involved in a church Mission Trip, although im Agnostic. For sure if a church found out id be shunned. We'll go on fundraising things and once we were at this bike week parking lot fundraiser and a group of lesbians came by and when they walked away after paying for the spot that talked trash about them, i just thought of how messed up that is. Its who someone is and theres nothing wrong.

I just know that when im older i can open up about it more, and maybe down the road itll be better that i waited to come out.

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Alec

my name is alec and i found out I'm bi when I was about 6 and I would have attractions to girls but then also a little into boys.. I never told one person and I decided at the beginning of this year 08-'09 school year to tell my closest friends I'm bi. They were all ok about it but kids at my school knew since last year and started making fun of me and I still get made fun of.

My best friend became my best friend since the first month of school and he never knew I had a huge crush on him till about two months ago. When I told him he said that he's not gay but we are cool. And once when he came over my house he sat in lap on the computer and our hands would touch around the mouse. I always thaught he was bi or gay because ppl called him that and he would act like it so I was hoping I had a chance and I ran home crying when I found out. I was so dissapointed and depressed and I still love him to this day. Idk how my future will turn out and my parents have
no clue.  

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